Practicing patience

TornadoI feel kind of shy coming here after my grand declaration from earlier this week, mostly because I’ve had a difficult and very keyed up week filled with competing priorities that are stretching me tight like an elastic band. And they’ve kept me from what I would really prefer to be doing.

But let me say this, I’m so grateful to all of you for your comments and e-mails of support and love.  Your ongoing kindness is humbling.

I’m not sure it would be very healthy to share the bits and pieces of my project here, at least not yet, because I’m trying not to over-commit myself. I truly want to take this one step at a time. But let me be clear,  it is slowly coming together through both words on a screen and ideas racing around my mind. However, I promised myself (and my husband) that I wouldn’t let this get beyond the scope of manageable. Our lives are already firing on all cylinders and we are coming dangerously close to blowing a family gasket.

It will likely come as no surprise that I tend to tackle life head on. It takes me forever to make big life decisions, I waffle and worry to death, but when I do I have little patience in seeing them through. I want things to happen already and have difficulty setting them aside until I do. I’m not known for being flexible. It’s how I’ve lived my whole life and old habits die hard.

This week that means I’m struggling. I’m struggling to focus on my responsibilities, my joys, my dreams, my professional obligations and the countless other things that round out a ridiculously busy schedule. I can feel the spin of a building tornado and the impending collision of too many priorities. You may be able to tell by the pace of this post. A bit scattered, a bit frenetic.

So I’m thinking carefully about the lessons we’re learning this week in the Mondo Beyondo Dream Lab. We’re exploring the idea that our dreams never leave us and if we can be patient they will come, possibly in ways we never before imagined. It’s about trust and faith in myself and believing that I am meant for my dreams.

Until recently, I would never have bought into this. To me life was a race and only the fastest win. But I’m changing, little by little I discover beauty in the journey and learning to appreciate the sights along the way.

Image: ‘Tornado‘ by tanakawho via a Creative Commons license.

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17 thoughts on “Practicing patience

  1. Kelly says:

    Being patient, holding a dream in hand and understanding that my focus on it will be enough, over-analyzing everything … I understand too well.

  2. I have that feeling so often, Christine, that sense of feeling stretched like a rubber band and wondering whether I can possibly manage to handle all that I’ve taken on. Writing, though therapeutic, can sometimes add to my stress levels, merely because I have so many ideas racing around my brain, popping up and swirling together. But I do love the idea that our dreams will never leave us if we are patient–that sounds like a thought I can live with. And one that wouldn’t keep me up at night. (P.S. I’m thrilled to hear you are writing a book, and can’t wait to hear more about it when you are ready!)

    • Christine says:

      It’s true, even the things that bring me joy and calm can cause frenzy, most often when I feel I’m living them behind in a sea of responsibility. And then, I’ll catch up. And I’ll remind myself that nothing is as bad as it seems, even when there are so many things pulling me in so many ways.

  3. It’s okay. Will be okay. I know how you feel.
    I have learned patience the hard way and I still tend to spin. As Dana and Kelly agreed with you, those dreams are there for you — right inside — and hovering all around. They won’t vanish while you’re discovering the beauty and enjoying the sights. (And I hope you do that today!)

  4. I love the idea that old dreams are still hovering, waiting for us to open ourselves and let them in. I’ve got a lot of abandoned dreams out there, if that’s the case. I’m so proud of you!

  5. Chantal says:

    This weekend I heard a radio program segment and you might want to listen to. It was about multitasking and how the more we do it the less efficient we are (no surprise, but it is still an interesting listen). It was on Spark on CBC radio one. I am sure there is a podcast. I have to look it up so I can get a few co-workers to listen as well.

  6. As you say – patience takes practice. Cut yourself some slack, and enjoy working toward those dreams.

  7. I so appreciate this post, Christine. You and I are cut from the same cloth — I, too, often race full-steam ahead toward the next goal. It’s a real challenge for me to slow down and appreciate the journey, while also TRUSTING that God has my best in mind. A life-long process for me, this trusting and being.

  8. ayala says:

    I like the idea that dreams never leave us…and if we wait they will come……..nice.

  9. harrietglynn says:

    Breath grasshopper 😉 My biggest challenge is taking a big “time out” from frenetic anxiety buildup. I’m supposed to take two ten-minute breaks a day to do NOTHING. Is there anything harder than that? Not for me. Anyway love that your writing it all down!

  10. I’m reading The Alchemist right now. A lot of what you said here resonates even more than usual because of that. I’m probably the only person on the planet who hadn’t gotten around to reading it….but I just love its message about dreams and about how we can’t really be WRONG on our path…but we’re happiest when we’re following a purpose. That sort of thing. Anyway…I just woke up. I think it’s possible I’m not making sense. 🙂

    Happy weekend, happy writing, happy dreaming, happy waiting, happy knowing…
    xoxo

    • Christine says:

      Well you are not the only one on the planet, because neither have I! But given what you say here, it’s clear that I must!! Thank you for the tip. And your friendship and support. Always.
      xo

  11. “believing that I am meant for my dreams.” I love this.

    You describe the tornado. And I totally get that.

    But the rhythm of your language slows as the post winds to a close. I’m studying poetry right now and as I do that I find that we write in a rhythm whether we realize it or not. The rhythm of our words tends to take on what we’re describing if we’re really there. It’s what tends to make great writing great.

    Your tornado sounds tornado-y.

    And then … you calm.

    Because … little by little… you are changing.

    I believe you.

    Thanks for writing and letting me see so much. And hope.

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