Better together

I’m away this week enjoying a 10th annivesary vacation with my husband. In celebration I’m delighted to feature a series of guests writing their thoughts on love, friendship and partnership. Please welcome Corinne from Trains, Tutus and Tea Time. I’ve met Corinne in person. The calm and serenity that she evokes at her place are a testament to exactly how she is in person. Her writing is breathtaking, her honesty inspiring, and her photos simply delightful. I’m fortunate to call her friend. Her post today is the real deal. I relate to her words and sentiments. Marriage is never perfect, there ARE butterflies and headaches. But we are blessed when we find a partner who accepts us for who we are. Thanks Corinne!

Better Together
by Corinne at Trains, Tutus and Tea Time

When Christine asked me to write a post about marriage, I agreed immediately. As my husband and I recently celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary, I thought the topic was relevant and the writing would come easily.

But it hasn’t. I’ve struggled with this post. There’s so much to our marriage, that knowing where to start is difficult. I live in our marriage every day, I know the ins and outs of it, the heartbreak and the heartwarming events that have happened in the last five years.

We’ve celebrated the birth of two babies, have moved three times, had several job changes between us, battled my alcoholism – together. While we’ve endured countless sleepless nights due to crying babies, we’ve also seen our share of adult tears being spilled on pillows. We’ve held back from each other, we’ve bared our souls to each other.

We’re still finding our way through our marriage.

It’s good and it’s blissful and it’s trying and it’s beautiful. The union of two people, two individuals, is not easy. I didn’t expect it to be. But what we have is so much better, so much more, than I had hoped for.

We listen to each other. We hear each other. We talk and hold hands and give the occasional dirty look. There are rolled eyes and longing glances. There are butterflies and headaches.

When eyes are rolled and voices occasionally raised, there’s always a backdrop of love.

We are real.

And we love each other.

While looking for a bit of inspiration for this post, I glanced through a scrapbook we made of cards from our wedding day. I came across the one my parents gave us, which included the poem below. It sums up what I would wish for in a marriage, and what I’m finding out – day in and day out – we have.

Congratulations on 10 years of wedded bliss, Christine and Jay.

An Uncommon Love

May you have the love
only two can know
May you go where only
two as one may go
May the sun rise and set
in your bonded hearts
and the moon never find you
too long apart
May you cherish each other’s
dreams as your own
and turn stumbling blocks
into stepping stones
May you brave life’s mountains
and miles together
May there be no storm
your love cannot weather
May you always be lovers
and allies and friends
May your souls’ conversation
never end
May you capture on earth
what’s in heaven above
May your hearts know the rapture
of an uncommon love

~Terah Cox

Image: ‘Six Years‘ via a Creative Commons license.

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22 thoughts on “Better together

  1. We are real.

    And we love each other.

    Those two lines are perfect. So. Perfect.

  2. ShannonL says:

    Such a beautiful post, Corinne. And so true. Thanks!

  3. Well, you certainly *are* real. And wading the waters together, and there’s definite beauty in that.

  4. Justine says:

    Corinne – this is beautiful. I struggled too with my post for Christine, but mainly because I was daunted – what would I know about 10 years as I’ve only been together with My Guy for five. But it isn’t just about the milestones and celebrations is it? It’s finding the beauty in the every day, and being perfect together despite the imperfections in ourselves and our lives.

  5. “uncommon love.”

    I think we all hope for this, don’t we?

  6. Dawn says:

    i love that marriage is more than i ever thought to think it would be. yes, real. and messy and good… and that backdrop of love sustains it all! happy anniversary to your christine! and corinne… sweet friend… this is beautiful, and in my head i am picturing that great camping pic of the 2 of you!

  7. BumbyScott says:

    What a delightful post, thank you for reminding me that sometimes there is perfection in progress.
    Always, Bumby

  8. I have been married a long time. “Stumbling blocks into stepping stones” I think this is such excellent advice. So often it is only a a block in my mind and when I try to climb over it or hold it in my hand like a sweet stone from the beach I find that block turns into stone so quickly and more easily than I might have imagined. It is my mind that makes me mad at my husband. The hand reaching out to climb or hold makes togetherness linger.

    Happy anniversary to Christine and thank you, Corinne, for telling us about your love of togetherness journey.

  9. Cathy says:

    I like this phrase “I live in our marriage every day…” because it seems to me that so many people try to live in this fantasy or idea of marriage and it causes them to be disappointed or disillusioned with what they have right in front of them.

    It is very odd, but marriage has been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe some inspiration for a post is coming…. 🙂

  10. Katy says:

    Corrine you are such a beautiful writer. Your post is stunning and you continue to inspire me x

  11. Hyacynth says:

    Yes, there’s always that backdrop of love with us, too. And a good thing — because some seasons produce more headaches than butterflies. 🙂

  12. Brooke says:

    I love this post! You always have a way with words and getting it just right.

  13. Beautiful! I’m saving this poem – a future love letter for my husband, I think. This brought such a smile to my face

  14. This is so beautifully written. I love the poem, too.

    I love the imagery of a “backdrop of love”. When we were newly married, I thought that fighting meant we were in trouble, that the whole foundation of everything was slipping. Now I can feel that backdrop of love, and I’m so grateful. Our marriage really took root and blossomed when we faced a lot of the hard stuff, together.

    And HAPPY ANNIVERSARY CHRISTINE!! 🙂

    -Ellie

  15. So lovely, Corinne, and so resonant. Thank you. xo

  16. robin says:

    Beautiful, Corinne.

  17. Rudri says:

    Lovely and honest – that is what I really like about this post. Thanks for sharing Corinne.

  18. alita says:

    We are real. -Honest! Great post Corinne.

    Marriages are like a good casserole; only those responsible knows what goes in it.

  19. Jenna says:

    Mmmmm . . . thanks for sharing Corinne! Butterflies and headaches sums it up well. I’m also at the 5-year marriage mark, and it’s been such a wonderful and frequently challenging trip. I’m thankful for the struggles we’ve been through, though, because God has used them to refine us and sharpen us . . . a sometimes painful process, but such an important (and eternal!) one.

  20. Kelly says:

    “We listen to each other. We hear each other. We talk and hold hands and give the occasional dirty look. There are rolled eyes and longing glances. There are butterflies and headaches.”

    So much yes here. The listening and the hearing. The holding hands and rolling eyes. The butterflies and the headaches. Real life, real marriage.

  21. Jennifer says:

    Corrine is one of my favorite writers! The truth is there always, and she never forgets to make it beautiful as well as deeply introspective.

  22. Kristy says:

    That poem is beautiful. We have been married 11 years. And, it is so true. Ups and downs. Marriage goes through phases, and we are still together. After a while, there is a beauty in weathering that.

    http://www.pampersandpinot.com

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