Random clarity

I have these random moments of pure clarity. One could call them blissful moments. They are hard to describe, except to say that I feel this overwhelming calmness, a sense that all is right and as it should be. Unfortunately, they are fleeting. I try to find ways to capture their essence when they come over me so I can save the feeling for later, but I simply haven’t discovered the key. I’ve been wanting to write about this for some time, but had to wait for an opportunity when the moment strikes. I thought if I waited it would be easier to describe it. This post might seem random and nonsensical. I want to get as much out as I can.

Right now, I’m feeling it. Despite all the anxiety I’m feeling over big changes my family is facing, I’m having the most perfect day. It’s a mixed blessing. I’m happy that my last day home alone with my second baby is so full of joy and happiness (my oldest is in care today), but I’m reminded how different things will soon be and that all will change.

Let me describe for you just how one of these moments feels. I feel optimism about EVERYTHING. I feel like I can easily conquer all of the challenges in my life. I no longer feel overwhelmed by the everyday. I can plan meals and stick to those plans, I can keep my house clean and organized, I can look forward to all the activities I want to do with my children without worrying how to fit them in, I can find time to really enjoy reading, I can scrapbook and make cards, I can go to work, be productive and enjoy it. I also feel an intesity of emotion for all of my family members, love and joy that they are simply in my life. I’m excited about the new people in my life and everything I have to look forward to over the coming months. I have energy, I feel healthy, I feel good about myself. It’s exhilirating. Honestly, no matter what crosses my mind while enjoying one of these moments, I still feel joy. For a short time, sometimes less than an hour, I am completely comfortable with myself and my life as it is.

Perhaps none of this makes sense to you, but to me it does and it feels great. I wish I could always feel like this. I need to find the recipe to make it happen. It’s part of the journey I am setting for myself. I want to be one of those people who says, “I came into my own in my 30’s.” I’m a few years in, I’m no where close. But when I have a moment like this, I can feel it, taste it. I know I’ll reach it.

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39 thoughts on “Random clarity

  1. Kristen @ Motherese says:

    Christine, I know exactly what you mean. I have these moments too and I think you are wise and brave to try to get them down on-screen. I sometimes wish I could bottle those feelings of strength, peace, and energy so that I could tap into them the next inevitable time weakness, chaos, and exhaustion arrive.

  2. Kristen @ Motherese says:

    Christine, I know exactly what you mean. I have these moments too and I think you are wise and brave to try to get them down on-screen. I sometimes wish I could bottle those feelings of strength, peace, and energy so that I could tap into them the next inevitable time weakness, chaos, and exhaustion arrive.

  3. Kristen @ Motherese says:

    Christine, I know exactly what you mean. I have these moments too and I think you are wise and brave to try to get them down on-screen. I sometimes wish I could bottle those feelings of strength, peace, and energy so that I could tap into them the next inevitable time weakness, chaos, and exhaustion arrive.

  4. Kristen @ Motherese says:

    Christine, I know exactly what you mean. I have these moments too and I think you are wise and brave to try to get them down on-screen. I sometimes wish I could bottle those feelings of strength, peace, and energy so that I could tap into them the next inevitable time weakness, chaos, and exhaustion arrive.

  5. Allison says:

    I love moments like this. Where everything falls into place and everything seems perfect. You feel like you can take over the world (or at least hold your world together). Cherish it, and if you find the recipe to make this happen more often, please share it!

  6. Allison says:

    I love moments like this. Where everything falls into place and everything seems perfect. You feel like you can take over the world (or at least hold your world together). Cherish it, and if you find the recipe to make this happen more often, please share it!

  7. Allison says:

    I love moments like this. Where everything falls into place and everything seems perfect. You feel like you can take over the world (or at least hold your world together). Cherish it, and if you find the recipe to make this happen more often, please share it!

  8. Allison says:

    I love moments like this. Where everything falls into place and everything seems perfect. You feel like you can take over the world (or at least hold your world together). Cherish it, and if you find the recipe to make this happen more often, please share it!

  9. coffeewithjulie says:

    Oh, I hope I get there too! I've only got two years left ….

  10. coffeewithjulie says:

    Oh, I hope I get there too! I've only got two years left ….

  11. coffeewithjulie says:

    Oh, I hope I get there too! I've only got two years left ….

  12. coffeewithjulie says:

    Oh, I hope I get there too! I've only got two years left ….

  13. Alyssa says:

    I love moments like these… You are just living in the moment and doing what is right in front of you and loving life. That is what makes childhood so special if we could only do that everyday as adults sigh. ENJOY!!!

  14. Alyssa says:

    I love moments like these… You are just living in the moment and doing what is right in front of you and loving life. That is what makes childhood so special if we could only do that everyday as adults sigh. ENJOY!!!

  15. Alyssa says:

    I love moments like these… You are just living in the moment and doing what is right in front of you and loving life. That is what makes childhood so special if we could only do that everyday as adults sigh. ENJOY!!!

  16. Alyssa says:

    I love moments like these… You are just living in the moment and doing what is right in front of you and loving life. That is what makes childhood so special if we could only do that everyday as adults sigh. ENJOY!!!

  17. Maria @BOREDmommy says:

    You, my friend, are a great writer.

  18. Maria @BOREDmommy says:

    You, my friend, are a great writer.

  19. Maria @BOREDmommy says:

    You, my friend, are a great writer.

  20. Maria @BOREDmommy says:

    You, my friend, are a great writer.

  21. Danielle says:

    This is awesome. What a great moment to capture! I am still searching for mine 🙂

  22. Danielle says:

    This is awesome. What a great moment to capture! I am still searching for mine 🙂

  23. Danielle says:

    This is awesome. What a great moment to capture! I am still searching for mine 🙂

  24. Danielle says:

    This is awesome. What a great moment to capture! I am still searching for mine 🙂

  25. Christy says:

    I loved this post! I loved Alison's comment "if you find the recipe to make this happen more often, please share it!" You have an amazing way with words, reading your blog almost made me have my own moment of clarity. I'm glad you had such a wonderful day with baby!

  26. Christy says:

    I loved this post! I loved Alison's comment "if you find the recipe to make this happen more often, please share it!" You have an amazing way with words, reading your blog almost made me have my own moment of clarity. I'm glad you had such a wonderful day with baby!

  27. Christy says:

    I loved this post! I loved Alison's comment "if you find the recipe to make this happen more often, please share it!" You have an amazing way with words, reading your blog almost made me have my own moment of clarity. I'm glad you had such a wonderful day with baby!

  28. Christy says:

    I loved this post! I loved Alison's comment "if you find the recipe to make this happen more often, please share it!" You have an amazing way with words, reading your blog almost made me have my own moment of clarity. I'm glad you had such a wonderful day with baby!

  29. LZ @ My Messy Paradise says:

    Can I come there with you?I am one step behind. I'm looking for the time and place where I make a plan and stick to it, where I feel like I've got things under complete control. Glad I have an idea of what I'm looking for, but just not sure how to put the pieces in place…

  30. LZ @ My Messy Paradise says:

    Can I come there with you?I am one step behind. I'm looking for the time and place where I make a plan and stick to it, where I feel like I've got things under complete control. Glad I have an idea of what I'm looking for, but just not sure how to put the pieces in place…

  31. LZ @ My Messy Paradise says:

    Can I come there with you?I am one step behind. I'm looking for the time and place where I make a plan and stick to it, where I feel like I've got things under complete control. Glad I have an idea of what I'm looking for, but just not sure how to put the pieces in place…

  32. LZ @ My Messy Paradise says:

    Can I come there with you?I am one step behind. I'm looking for the time and place where I make a plan and stick to it, where I feel like I've got things under complete control. Glad I have an idea of what I'm looking for, but just not sure how to put the pieces in place…

  33. Tiffany @ Lattes And Life says:

    Oh girl, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I get those too…well, I used to. I don't think I've had that since I got pregnant with Savannah. I'm just now digging out from under the immense feelings of being overwhelmed since she arrived. But I've had those feelings before, and I wish I could feel that way all the time too.

  34. Tiffany @ Lattes And Life says:

    Oh girl, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I get those too…well, I used to. I don't think I've had that since I got pregnant with Savannah. I'm just now digging out from under the immense feelings of being overwhelmed since she arrived. But I've had those feelings before, and I wish I could feel that way all the time too.

  35. Tiffany @ Lattes And Life says:

    Oh girl, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I get those too…well, I used to. I don't think I've had that since I got pregnant with Savannah. I'm just now digging out from under the immense feelings of being overwhelmed since she arrived. But I've had those feelings before, and I wish I could feel that way all the time too.

  36. Tiffany @ Lattes And Life says:

    Oh girl, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I get those too…well, I used to. I don't think I've had that since I got pregnant with Savannah. I'm just now digging out from under the immense feelings of being overwhelmed since she arrived. But I've had those feelings before, and I wish I could feel that way all the time too.

  37. […] nodded and sighed at the truth of it. I’ve written before about my relationship with random clarity, fleeting moments of overwhelming calmness and the sense that all is right and as it should be. […]

  38. […] nodded and sighed at the truth of it. I’ve written before about my relationship with random clarity, fleeting moments of overwhelming calmness coupled with the sense that all is right and as it […]

  39. Christine, I LOVE THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE THESE MOMENTS OF CLARITY. Perhaps everyone has those? And trying to bottle it? I get it. It took me awhile to realize that sometimes there are moments of clarity, and sometimes there aren’t. At first I was OK with it. And thankful for the moments. Then I started to feel frustrated that I couldn’t access it when I wanted – I had to wait until it visited – like a good dream. I am still working on it, and I guess you make sense when you say, you have to work at being happy. I have even gone a step further (for me) and even if I am not doing all my domestic responsibilities to par, or my other commitments 100 percent, I can still be thankful and joyful and hopeful – and don’t have to have all my ducks in a row to allow myself to feel good. But I haven’t conquered the – “how to get there when I am bummed and down and out”…….oh well, the journey continues….

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