To be honest, I haven’t given the fact that it is a new year much thought, much less the fact that it’s a new decade. It’s been a busy holiday season, no more than most others, but nonetheless it feels as though I haven’t had most of my thoughts and energy have been consumed with preparations. I’m starting 2010 tired and spent. However, now that the decorations are finally packed away, I feel ready to start fresh and think about the year to come.
A friend and fellow blogger at Love, Laugh, Shop recently wrote a post about her greatest memories from the last decade. As I begin to consider my hopes and goals for the next year and even the next decade, I have to agree that, like Sarah, it’s fun to take a moment to look back. For me, the last decade started most notably with my marriage to my best friend and high school sweetheart. We were married in September 2000 and have accomplished so much together in 10 years. We’ve built two homes from the ground up, we welcomed two beautiful sons and we built our careers. The decade has been all about our lives together and I’m grateful for every moment. The thing is, as I really give it some thought, I realize how normal and practical it has been.
I’ve never been good at making new year resolutions, in fact I cannot remember one that I actually ever kept. So this year, I won’t resolve to do anything specific. I recently read Marshaeps’ blog where she wrote about why revelations trump resolutions. Her list hit home in many ways, and perhaps will inspire future blog posts. For the moment the one that mattered most to me was: Revelations can be the catalyst for the rewriting of old and tired scripts and roles. My revelation is that the last 10 years have been all about building my life. I’m determined that the next 10 should be all about living my life.
Obviously I will continue to focus on my life as a wife, mother, and friend, but I’m making a commitment spend the decade finding myself. I’m only a couple of years into my 30’s, but I can honestly say I’ve not yet discovered who I really am. I know what I love, I am devoted to my family and friends and relish these relationships, I have a career that inspires and challenges me, but I would not call myself a confident woman who is entirely comfortable in her skin.
With this revelation comes a desire to really consider what this will mean, to examine my life from the inside out and to become the woman I want to be. I’m hoping this blog will help me get there by continuing to provide an outlet to reflect on my various roles but also an opportunity to explore my most central role: project finding me. There is much to discover. I suspect it won’t be easy, but I’m certain it will be a journey from which I can learn to really live my life. Welcome 2010, bring on the next 10 years!