My baby boy will soon be 9-months-old. I am quite shocked by this. It seems only yesterday we greeted him at the hospital. It seems only yesterday that I started maternity leave, ripe with anticipation of a second child and the change it would mean for my family. It seems only yesterday that my 3-year-old was a baby himself. Where has the time gone and why haven’t I been able to hold on to more precious pieces of their babyness?
I have snuggled both my babies close, felt the soft sweetness of their baby hair, breathed in the delectable scent that is their own and silently reminded myself to savour the moment, because it would be fleeting. I have rocked them, read and sang songs to them, tickled them, laughed with them and tried to paint pictures in my mind that would last forever.
Despite this, I already mourn for this stage of their life. I suppose much the same that I mourned my pregnancies. Will it always be like this, will I always look to the future with excitement and look back with satisfaction yet a bit of sadness? I need to better enjoy the here and now. I need life to slow down so it isn’t so fleeting, so that this time isn’t just a blur. Each day of my childrens lives brings new gifts, new awareness, new joy. I want to hang on to this and be more a part of it.