I now have two beautiful children, after two incredibly different birth and recovery experiences. Both were born by c-section after long labours (the first 30 hours, the second 15), but for many reasons the second was easier to manage both physicially and emotionally. I suppose the biggest reason was that I was prepared the second section since it obviously was a very real possibility while for a VBAC. I was hopeful of course, and gave it my best shot, but was not nearly as heartbroken and devastated as the first time. I can attribute this to the fact that the OB was much more supportive and understanding this time, the fact that I wasn’t progressing and labour was so much more intense this time and I knew I couldn’t go on, and the fact that I wasn’t as exhausted this time around. But mostly I think it was easier to recover and move on was because the OR staff was much more supportive and I had real time to bond with my baby right after his birth and in the hours that followed.
What a remarkable difference that has made, spirtually and emotionally. I felt more ready to be a mom to my second baby than my first. We bonded more quickly because I wasn’t focussing so much on how I felt. Don’t get me wrong, the weeks following his birth as we adjusted to a new baby and becoming a family of four were challenging and the sleep deprivation was awful, but overall I felt more happy, content and at peace than in the weeks following the birth of my first son. And now, more than two months later, I am thankful for having found that peace, for how it has made the birth of my second special in its own unique way and how it has helped me to get back to job of being a mom and wife so much faster.